What to Look for in a Partner

What makes a relationship healthy? Two people who value equality and respect make a good start. Where are some characteristics you may want to consider in a potential partner:

• Someone who supports your relationships with friends and family members. S/he is willing to spend time with your friends and family to get to know them, and at the same time gives you space to spend time along with them.
• Someone who maintains his or her own friendships and family relationships, and wants you to get to know the people s/he is close to.
• Someone who supports your personal growth. S/he encourages you to participate in activities that are good for you, like sports or other athletic activities, clubs or groups you belong to, a job or a hobby.
• Someone who asks for, and listens to, your opinion but doesn't always have to agree with it.
• Someone who is comfortable with your having different opinions from him or her, and does not take it as a personal insult when you disagree.
• Someone who you feel comfortable expressing your feelings and emotions with.
• Someone who talks and listens.
• Someone who accepts responsibility for his or her own behaviour, feelings and thoughts.
• Someone who can apologize when he or she is wrong, and accept your apology when you're wrong.
• Someone who considers the relationship a partnership.
• Someone who shares in decision-making.
• Someone who expects both partners to control their own money, and never uses money as a way of getting what s/he wants.
• Someone who treats other people with respect. (If a male, one who treats his mother and sisters with respect.)
• Someone who is secure enough not to feel threatened by your friendships with people of either sex.
• Someone who trusts you and expects to be trusted.
• Someone who encourages you in your goals and dreams.
• Someone who makes positive statements about your strengths.
• Someone you feel safe with.
• Someone who can resolve conflicts without resorting to violence or put-downs.